Kung Fu Cowboys
by Magnus Parvus
Summary: The Young Justice Time Travel Trilogy    The time travel trilogy,  with satirical elements from the Back to the Future series  This is among my favorites, this story places the kids in the 1950's Smallville, the Old West and a dark and bleak future.


Part 1 Young Justice in the Old West

"Oh no, you show up out of the blue unannounced," Cissie stared at Cassie as she opened the door to the room she shared with Traya. "That must mean you're going to drag me away again on another superhero adventure."

"Calm down Cissie, you remember the last time when we were sitting down watching a movie about time travel at the clubhouse, when suddenly the supercycle burst through the wall and took us back in time."

"How could I forget?"

"Well I thought I'd make it up to you by bringing a movie over here to watch. No chance of superhero interruptions."

"You can play it on my computer," Traya took the disk and slipped in the drive.

The movie started to play on the computer screen, Cissie stepped back horrified. "I can't believe this! How could you! You bring over the sequel, where they go back in time to the old west."

"Come off it Ciss, stop being so dramatic, just because it happened before doesn't mean the supercycle is going to phase through the wall and take us back to the old west."

Just then the supercycle phased through the wall. The gang assembled onboard included most of the members of Young Justice. Robin was struggling with the controls furiously.

In the next instant everything shimmered around them and the scenery completely changed.

They were in the middle of desert terrain. Short cactus dotted the landscape.

Cissie stomped her feet. "Damn it, I knew this would happen, I'm in a western and I hate westerns," Cissie, Cass and Traya stood outside the supercycle.

"Sorry Cissie, the supercycle wouldn't respond to my directions shortly after we dropped Cass off at your place." Robin fiddled with the controls on the cycle.

"Where the heck are we?" Kon looked around.

"The old west." Cissie looked off in the distance.

Cass raised her arms in protest. "How do you figure that? Just because of the movie…"

"There's a runaway stagecoach approaching us."

"Yeah sure Clint."

"Wait I see something too." Robin got off the cycle.

Off in distance they could see a runaway stagecoach. It approached them throwing clouds of dust into the air behind it.

"Well I'll be," said Kon as the wagon approached. "So what do we do at this stage, coach?" he asked Robin.

"I think Cissie's right, we've gone back in time for some reason, and that reason may be approaching us now."

The stagecoach was yards away from them, no one was at the horses reins.

Anita held up her open hand. "Whoa," she commanded. The horses, that seemed to be running flat out, stopped.

The stagecoach was filled with bullet holes.

"Holy stagecoach Bat- er Robin." Kon smirked.

"It sure is holey," Robin pointed at the bullet holes. "It must have been ambushed," he approached the stagecoach.

He went around to the back of the stagecoach and opened the door. Inside were what seemed to be 4 dead men. One wore a tattered green poncho without identifying marks. The rest wore U.S. army uniforms, all seemed of fairly high rank from their stripes. One on the men had Lt. Blueberry stamped on his lapel; underneath him someone could be heard moaning. Robin quickly pushed the body of Lt. Blueberry out of the way,

"Tim?" said the half dead soldier, who looked a full dead ringer for Dick Grayson, Lt. Grayson was even stamped upon his lapel.

"Nightwing?" he bent down to the man. He sighed; it wasn't Dick, yet he certainly looked a lot like him.

The man tried to raise his head. "Timothy my brother? But you ran away to join the circus years ago."

Robin bent down to him. He reached for his utility belt, and then he pressed small a yellow water canteen to the soldier's lips. "Now just hold on."

The man used the little strength he had and reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a yellowed paper. "Here my brother. Gold." Then he slumped his head back and died. Robin drew back in horror. He quickly composed himself however, looked one last time at Lieutenant Grayson, and turned to leave.

Robin came out of the stagecoach, and spoke to the group. "Well I might have a clue to why we're here."

"So tell us then why are we here?" Cissie retorted, "As opposed to, I don't know, in my room with Traya doing non superhero, non time travel, normal everyday things. But noooo"

"I don't know exactly why we're here yet, but this might help us find out." He held up the paper Lt. Grayson had given him. "It's a map of some sort it looks like."

Anita approached one of the horses. "They've been running for hours, they're in really bad shape we've got to get some water and food for them quick."

"Hey look, I found some food for the horses." Impulse shouted from the top of the stagecoach. He tossed down, a sack to Anita.

Robin walked over to the supercycle and reached inside one of the glove compartments, he removed several large bottles of water and tossed them toward Anita. "We can't let the horses die, they'll be our only means of transport here. The supercycle is far too conspicuous to risk using. Now if only we could find something to wear beside our costumes so that we don't stand out in this era."

"Hey you guys," said Impulse from the top of the stagecoach, he was wearing a green poncho, "I just found a box of these really cool ponchos." He held up near identical ones.

"Perfect. They must belong to the man with no name tag." Robin smiled.

"You mean we're all supposed to wear green ponchos" Cass looked at him questioningly.

"Actually, it's fitting I guess, since we're the "good" guys."

The Young Justice gang rode upon the horses they had unhitched from the stagecoach, Traya rode on a horse with Cissie. She stared out overjoyed at her surroundings. "This is the best thing ever! I can't believe it the old west. This is my favorite historical time period."

"Yes I know," said Cissie disparagingly, you've already told me all about Jimmy Jones and his band of outlaws, The Hole in One Gang."

"That's Jesse James not Jimmy Jones, wrong outlaw. Heck wrong century and country, and his gang wasn't The Hole in the Wall Gang, that was Butch Cassidy's group. Jesse James rode with the Long Riders and they included his cousin Cole Younger-"

"Whoa. That's cool," said Impulse interested. "Hey you dumb horse, what are you stopping for?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah - save it for Miss Krabapple." Cissie waved her off.

Cassie looked around at the lush green area they rode through, "Strange how the landscape changes so quickly. One minute we're in the desert, a few miles later we're in a place that looks more like Italy."

"Hey yeah! I think I see the famous Italian spaghetti trees off in the distance," said Kon.

"Whoa. Where?" Bart looked in the distance enthusiastically. "C'mon you dumb horse let's move, now's no time to rest. I've never had fresh picked spaghetti before."

"Really? You don't know what you're missing. Well, besides a few brain cells." Kon replied.

"There it is up ahead, the town of Fiddler's Gulch." Robin pointed at the old western town in the distance. "That's our fist stop to pick up supplies, from there it looks like it's going to be about half a days ride to our destination. Our real problem is cash, we don't have any, not currency that will pass anyway."

"Yeah I guess they don't take credit cards." Anita smiled.

"Those earring are gold aren't they Anita." Robin's eyes narrowed.

"My grand mere gave me these earrings,"

"Not yet she hasn't." Robin pointed out.

"Would you rather we steal what we need?" Kon prodded.

"Whoa, wait a second guys. What the hell is wrong with this stupid horse? If I may put in my five cents worth."

"The phase is two cents worth, Bart." Secret corrected.

"But I have a nickel" Bart held up a large sized coin.

"A nickel?" they said together.

"Riiight. At least that's what it says on it." He tossed it to Robin. "I picked off the deck of the stagecoach."

"Hmm…" Robin stared at the five-cent piece. "Actually we might not have to steal, we could get away with other vices such as gambling and cheating."

Kon clapped him on the shoulder. "That's what I like about you Rob, not only do you excel as leader in combat situations, but you set an outstanding moral example to us all. You could become president."

"Impulse you come with me, the rest of you guys wait here." Robin and Bart headed off.

Bart and Robin walked into the saloon. None seemed to notice them enter. The patrons were fixed instead on a high stakes card game that was going on at one of the small tables by the window. Outside one could see the hitching post where most of the patrons had tied their horses.

"Well Baron, let's see your cards," said one of the two men seated at the card table. He was wearing a yellow shirt and a black vest, with a red kerchief and a white hat. A hand rolled cigarette was dangling on the edge of his lips.

"Ha, I figured your luck wouldn't hold." He held out his cards, a strait flush, the ten the high card. The short, stout, well-tailored Baron leaned back and twirled his long moustache.

The man in the yellow shirt laid out his cards. He had a strait flush jack high. He coolly blew smoke from his lungs.

"I don't understand every hand you've played you've won. As if you've known what's in my hand."

"Baron do you think that my horse outside is giving me directions and helping me cheat."

The Baron looked at the white appaloosa with the golden mane, behind him. "No I'm not saying that at all. It's just that you sure are lucky Luke."

One of the gambling patrons at another table threw his cards down in disgust. "God dammit, I'm bust."

"Don't worry." A well dressed gentlemen approached the table. "Anything of value you'd like to put up against on a loan."

"Who are you, if I may ask man?" The gambler looked up at him skeptically.

"Me, why I'm the loan arranger, and I'll get you a loan pronto."

One of the patrons pointed to the appaloosa outside the window. "Jolly Jumper, that's the name of the horse with the golden shaggy mane."

Impulse looked up from the card table to the horse outside the window, mistakenly catching only part of what was said, "That's horse's name is Shane huh? Guess it's better then going through the desert on a horse with no name."

"Boy you sure are lucky fellas," said one of the people at the card table with Bart and Robin.

"What do you mean, with us being superhero's or that we went back in time?" Bart winced in pain as he was kicked in the shin.

"What's that you said, we didn't bring our sombreros, because we lost track of time."

"Uh, si. That makes a lot more sense." Impulse rolled his eyes at Robin.

"You fellas sure are weird too, not as bad as them chinamen. Them chinamen been the ruin of this here town."

"How do you figure that?"

"We were a nice prosperous community, there was a big silver mine hereabouts, no gold though, every new river ever been found, out near these parts got lots of gold but fer this area, mighty strange. Anyways like I said all was going good with the silver mine and all, then all of a sudden a bunch of chinamen show up, the next thing you know, everything done gone to hell. All the miners have left, my hardware store hasn't sold but too hammers in the last month."

"And this is the fault of the Chinese?" Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Yup, for a while, they were my only costumers. But the Baron over there," He pointed over at the table, where the Baron and Luke were playing cards. "He owns most of the property in the town, he said that it was cuz of all the chinamen coming in, that wuz driving everybody off. But the Baron got us a solution."

Robin looked over the bar; it was then he first noticed a sign that read, No Dogs or Chinese Allowed. He frowned, "What, is he going to exterminate them?"

"Exetem..what?"

"Clyde, you idiot, it means is he going to dig them up after they're dead." Clyde's friend explained.

"Huh? Heck no, he's just hired a bunch of men to kill em all. Why would he dig em up afterwards?"

"Kill em all?"

"Yup, a bounty of 100 dollars a head."

"That's murder."

"Yeah I kinda felt that way at first too. But the Baron he got me to thinking. He said them folks wasn't really like folks at all. That they wuz more like dogs then anything. Now I like dogs, but I ain't about to let a dog move into my neighbor's house, and I'll put it down if it gets rabid."

Robin frowned, "This Baron sounds very prejudice."

"Yes, that's him. Baron Biggit Von Prey Geedus."

"Well we got all the supplies we need." Robin approached the group waiting at the campfire.

"Did you get any firearms?" Traya asked.

Cissie was incredulous, "Why in the world would he purchase firearms Traya? Just because this is the old west doesn't mean that we should be sporting pistols. Besides you know that's not our thing anyway."

"Yes I picked up six shooters, no bullets, for all of us." Robin pulled them from bulging burlap sack.

"What? I thought we all agreed that we didn't like guns. Why in the world would you buy us guns?"

"Traya?" Robin looked toward her.

"Cissie, this is the Wild West, wild means lawless for the most part. Every man is their own cop and cops carry guns don't they? If we meet up with bandits or desperadoes and they see we're not armed, they might try and make a move on us. In the ensuing fight somebody's superpower gets used. In an era where there are no superhero's as such. Making us recognizable and more likely to affect the space time continuum." Traya nodded at Robin who raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Think of them as part of your undercover costume." Robin handed out the pistols and gun belts.

"Whom would we run into? We haven't seen anybody yet. In fact we haven't encountered anything but barren wilderness. It's hard to believe America was ever like this. So unspoiled so peaceful." Cassie picked at a flower.

"This area will be swarming with bandits and desperadoes really soon. They're going to spoil the peaceful landscape with genocidal bloodshed."

"Yeah it's a shame about what happened to the Indians." Cissie sighed.

"I'm not talking about the Indians. Apparently a bunch of Chinese miners have settled in the area. They are camped down by the one on the mountain runoffs, nearby were our map tells us to go. The town's bigwig has hired a bunch of gunmen and assassins to kill all of them."

Cass was taken aback. "You're kidding right? How could this have ever have happened in America?"

"It doesn't sound too uncommon. There was widespread prejudice against the Chinese. Many who had come over to work building the railways, that linked the two coasts." Traya said sadly.

"Thanks a lot history girl." Cass said.

"Hmm… History girl, no one has that name yet do they?" Traya said enthusiastically.

Impulse hastily strapped on his gun belt and began practicing his draw. "I'm faster then the fastest draw in the west."

"Yeah and who would that be?" Secret asked.

Everybody looked to Traya. Traya simply shrugged her shoulders.

Impulse answered. "Don't you guys watch westerns? Quick Draw McGraw of course."

Cissie rolled her eyes. "Bart that's a cartoon. They're not real, they're drawings. They're not like, um…well…"

"Takes a while to do one of those cartoons. I wonder if they're quickly drawn."

"Said Quick Draw." Cissie looked on at Impulse practicing his quick draw.

The group was hidden in some shrubbery. Robin looked out through a pair of binoculars. He spied a bunch of Chinese miners panning the water down by the riverbed. "Ok, we don't know how they're going to react to us, they might think we've come to kill them, so we want to be really careful…"

Ignoring Robin Impulse jumped out, and waded into the stream, approaching the guys panning in the water. "Hi guys."

The Chinese jumped back startled.

"I'll kill him." Robin looked out from his hiding place.

"What's the matter guys?" Impulse outstretched his arms, in a welcoming gesture. The expressions of the Chinese men began to soften.

"Well maybe I wont have to kill him after all."

One of the Chinese pointed to Bart's gun. Impulse looked toward it. "Yeah pretty neat huh?" He drew his pistol with blinding speed on the Chinese miners who again jumped back in shock. "Quick Draw McGraw, fastest draw in the old west."

"Nope kill him."

The miners quickly and without warning, launched a Kung Fu attack on Impulse. Bart moved backwards rabidly, avoiding them easily. "Hey guys you don't understand. I'm a friend, kimosabe. Friend, kimosabe," he said, waving his gun squarely in their direction.

Robin stepped from where he was hidden. He yelled out, "We mean you no harm." first in Mandarin, then in Cantonese.

The Chinese stopped their assault on Impulse and began rabidly reply to Robin, who couldn't make out a word they were saying. The learning of certain phrases in every language one could think of was simply part of his training with Batman, part of his philosophy of being prepared for all contingencies. He repeated the phase again in both languages, and followed it with something that would be viewed in any language as a friendly gesture. A smile.

The gang followed the Chinese as they led them down a trail. "According to the map this valley in where the X is." He held up the map pointing to the x in the middle of where the word valley was written in large letters. "Whatever we're looking for must be very close to here."

A man approached them from the mining camp they were walking toward. A man behind him spoke something in Chinese.

"Chan asks if you've come to kill us."

"You've got it all wrong mister. We're the good guys, see our ponchos." Bart displayed his poncho proudly. "We're here to help you."

"I guess you've heard that there are a lot of assassins headed this way soon." Anita said.

Cass bowed slightly. "You speak quite good English, um… Mr.-"

"It is Sub Ti Til, most English call me Sub." The Chinese man bowed in return.

"You have a slight British accent Sub, you studied at an English school back in China?" Robin ventured.

"Very astute, I learned it at the British military academy."

"Your friends sure have some pretty good martial moves of their own." Anita pointed at the two men who had led them into the camp.

"Yes we all have studied the martial arts. Alas it isn't much use against pistols and rifles. This is something that I also learned at the academy."

"We have a member that's studied the martial arts as well, and he goes up against guys with guns all the time." Cass pointed to Robin who had taken out his map and started examining it. "There he is- " She put her finger under her nose and sneezed. "Ha- choo… by da spruce tree," she said, her nose slightly stuffy.

Sub Ti Til translated for the group, "With them they have a master of Kung Fu," he pointed to Robin. "His name is Bruce Lee."

The men bowed toward Robin, Robin looked up from his map and smiled and bowed back.

"Bruce Lee fights and wins against armed men."

One of the men spoke, Sub translated. "Master Bruce Lee, how do we defeat the men with guns with our bare hands?"

"For crying out loud I said spruce tree, not Bruce Lee."

"No, no Cass, that's ok, I kinda like it."

Another of the men spoke, Sub translated. "Teach us how to defeat the armed men. Master Bruce."

"Hmm… on second thought." He reached under his poncho and withdrew a batarang. "As for disarming the armed bandits" He tossed it, knocking the pan out of the hands of one of the miners.

Robin looked on as the men practiced their tosses. They threw boomerangs that had been carved by Bart.

Superboy shook his head. "I dunno about this Rob, putting tons of people at risk to catch a bullet, just because you don't want us using our powers and risk screwing up the space time continuum."

"That's no small reason Kon. Compared to the risk of screwing up the continuum the risk to a few miners is nothing, logically speaking. They're not in much risk of taking a bullet anyway, really. Firearms in the old west were notoriously unreliable and inaccurate. Oh and incidentally, my plan calls for you to use your power, yours too Bart and it won't mess up the continuum. Not the way I have it planned."

Robin walked over to the riverbank. "Hmm…" he took a small pan nearby left by one of the miners practicing their tosses. He dipped the pan in the water, then swirled the sand and water in the pan. There are some minor silver deposits left but this stream seams pretty well tapped out. I guess this is the real reason most of the miners left. They certainly aren't going to get wealthy off of this."

Sub approached behind him "Yes, but it is all we have. No one will register a staked claim from a Chinese, unless no white man wishes the land."

"So your left with hand me downs. Just a flash in the pan. "

"Wow!" said Traya talking to Sub. Anita looked on. "You were with the crew that laid the last yards of railway track. That is so exciting."

"I would have thought so too, but on that day when the last spike was laid and the place was packed with newspaper men and photographers, we were told to stay away, not to show our faces. When I first escaped to this country, I had such dreams. Who has not heard of America, the great land of freedom? Where one's position in life, did not depend on the family to which one was born into, but on ones own merits. Those days of idealism now seem so far away. Now I see why a great ocean separates our two continents, we are indeed worlds apart. What is it like in your native land? Do men behave this way everywhere?"

Anita answered, "Actually, I come from a place where oceans and even language, no longer have the ability to keep people apart. Where ideas flow through the ether at the speed of light. Where there is no need for anyone to misunderstand each other if they are willing to listen."

"Actually, I was kinda thinking it was like history." Traya interjected.

"History?"

"Yeah I thought history was gonna suck. Be really boring, you know, all dates and memorization and stuff, so I decided that I hated history and I didn't want to take in school or anything. Then one day I starting reading a book that I didn't know was a history book."

'I see," Sub's eyes were puzzled.

"So anyway it turns out that history isn't boring at all. Once I found that out, hating it became pretty tough."

"You both speak with a wisdom beyond your years. I will meditate upon what you have said."

End of part 1

"Kung Fu Cowboys" m

Part 2 The Beatin' at the Town Meetin'

Cissie was perched in one of the tall trees, Her green poncho camouflaging her perfectly in the branches. Traya was nestled in the tree with her. "I should have my head examined for letting you talk me into this. Red would kill me if he knew you were scouting in a tree with me, rather then safe in a bunker somewhere."

"And miss this you gotta be kidding,"

Cissie saw a group of men approaching on horseback. "I see them."

Cissie looked in the distance to Robin, she signaled to him with her hands. Traya gazed in awe at the scene below her.

"Ok there they are, get ready." Robin motioned to Sub, who whispered the translation.

"Hey that's strange, one of the outlaws is trailing way behind."

"Traya, he's not lagging behind he's catching up, it looks like he's chasing them." She signaled again to Robin.

"Ok there're at the bottle neck. Time for you to do your thing Bart."

Bart had changed in his poncho for the black suit that most of the Chinese wore.

Impulse strained his body and started releasing scouts. One by one, replicas of him wearing the black uniform appeared. They rushed toward the bottleneck where the gunmen were riding.

"Talk about a Chinese population explosion." Anita smiled at Robin.

"Look there he goes," said Traya watching the array of Impulses.

"Look they've spotted him." Cissie saw the horsebacked riders take off after him. They lobbed a hail of inaccurate gunfire from the backs of their horses at him. The riders reached the bottleneck. The riders bunched up upon one another not able to pass.

A very, very, short man, obviously the leader of the group, jumped off his horse. "We'll leave the horses here, they're trapped in there anyway." The walls of the bottleneck were steep, offering no means of escape, save the way they came in.

The gang dismounted, and headed into the bottleneck. They could see their quarry pressed into the back of the canyon.

The short man with long mustached cocked his gun as he began to walk over to the area where he could see the chinamen huddled. "This is going to be easy pickins."

Then he saw a figure approach from where the Chinese were gathered.

His green poncho flowed in the wind.

The short man stepped in front of him, his revolver pointed strait at the boy in the green poncho.

Kon squinted, "You're thinking about pulling that trigger. But before you do, there's a question you ought to ask yourself. And that question is… Do I feel lucky? Well do ya punk."

The short man blazed away with his pistol. "Don't mention that word to me I am sick and tired of the word lucky."

Soon the whole contingent of outlaws was firing on the boy in the green poncho, surprisingly to little of any effect.

The short man was so enraged he lit a stick of dynamite and threw it at the boy.

To his and all the bandits surprise the boy threw himself upon the stick of dynamite. Instants later there ways a loud bang as the dynamite exploded under the boy.

The short outlaw grinned, "We got him now for sure."

The boy got up prying off of himself a scorched and bent piece of metal that he had placed under his poncho, a poncho that had been blown half away during the blast.

Robin stood amazed from his hidden position. "I can't believe he did that. He was just supposed to create a distraction. They're never going to believe that mangled piece of metal saved him."

One of the tallest outlaws yelled, "Look he's ok, that piece of metal he had under his poncho must have saved him."

"That's the signal guys, time to make our move."

Given all the distraction they needed the fighters launched into the mob with their boomerangs. Quickly most of the gunmen had the guns flung from their hands. They lit into them, subjecting the gunmen to a litany of blows. Some of the outlaws and bounty hunters began to run.

"You bastards come back," shouted the short leader. "Damn you," he said enraged, "This is all your fault boy." He drew a hidden revolver and pressed it to Robin's kneecap. Robin looked down and noticed him at the last second. "Your luck's run out kid." He prepared to pull the trigger.

Suddenly a bullet whizzed by knocking the gun from the short mans hands.

"Actually, his Lucky just arrived Joe."

Steam poured from Joe's ears "Lucky, I hate that word Lucky," he turned and stared into the face of Luke. He drew back in fear, and then instants later began to run, sending clouds of dust into the air behind him. "Retreat, retreat!" he called out. The men began to retreat.

Two men ran and jumped on their horses, a young man by them asked, "What's happening back there? Why's everybody running?"

"It was terrible, everybody wuz, ah what they call it, Pat, I ferget?"

The other man chipped in. "Kung Fu fighting, Billy."

"You gotta be kidding me," said the young man by the horses.

"They wuz fast as lightning."

The two men pulled the reins on their horses ands rode off. The young man watched them go.

"I must admit that sounds a little bit frightening. "

The gang watched the outlaws storm off, "Well it looks like we beat em. "

"Hey," said Bart coming up to Luke. "It's that lucky guy from the saloon, and he's with Shane. Hey, we got some sugar in our supplies, don't we?" Bart in the next second approached the horse pulling some sugar from his pocket. "Which I just happen to have on me and didn't just go get at superhuman speed so that I would be invisible to the naked eye." Bart winked at Robin.

Robin buried his face in his hands, and shook his head.

Bart approached the horse and offered it a sugar cube. "Here ya go Shane." The horse accepted the cube giving Bart a strange look.

"I'm not so sure if we beat 'em fer good, knowing the Dalton boys, they're stubborn. They don't give up real easy." Luke dismounted.

"The Dalton boys?" Cass asked.

"The Dalton boys, Joe and his brothers, notorious outlaws. No matter how many times I lock them up they always seem to escape. You fellas wouldn't know anything about that I'm sure. That was some pretty good fighting strangers but knowing the bounty reward offered per head, Joe wouldn't just give up that easy."

"If I was Joe Dalton then I wouldn't bother coming back."

Luke looked at Anita, his eyes questioning.

"It would make much more sense to just take his band and ransack the town. He'd get all of Biggit's money, anybody else's too. They're wanted outlaws anyway, what have they got to lose?"

Just then Secret floated up behind Robin. Noticing Luke, she kept herself widely dispersed. She whispered in his ear. "Oh my god, it looks like your right Anita, I've just got word that the Dalton gang is planning to attack the town, just after sunrise tomorrow."

"How did you find that out? Do you have a spy in the enemy camp?" Luke asked.

"Actually, more of a Secret Agent."

"We've got to go and protect the town." Anita announced.

Cassie was angered. "A town that would've willingly exterminated these fine folks. That's justice for you."

"No," said Sub Ti Til, "We must go and protect the town."

Cassie seemed genuinely touched by the notion. "You do that for them after all that."

"It is not simply that, something that Traya said seems to echo in my mind. Prejudice at is root is caused when we judge the worth of someone or something without ever really knowing or understanding what we've judged. And how can one know and understand one another, when they can't even communicate. Perhaps its not too late to rectify that misunderstanding."

The Baron woke up and saw a man in yellow shirt at the edge of his bed. "Luke, what are you doing here? I never figured you for the outlaw type. Haven't you taken enough of my money already, without having to steal from me?"

"The only ones who are going to be stealing from you are the no good assassins you hired. A group of armed men led by Joe Dalton are going try and loot the town at sunup."

"Joe Dalton, isn't he in jail?"

"Never mind that now, just organize a town meeting. And quick."

Impulse talked to a group of townsfolk seated at one of the saloon table. People were still arriving sleepy-eyed for the town meeting that was called in the middle of the night.

"Yes sirrie bob," said one of the older citizens. "I was going to paint my shop, got the paint and all, lots of it. But I'm too old to be getting on a ladder and doing it myself. And nowadays, with the way things been running, I can't even afford to hire anybody to paint it."

"Don't worry Mr. I'll paint it for ya." Bart offered.

"Really young man? Go by Diz's repair shop. I'll get you the paint and the brushes sometime tomorrow."

"Don't worry I can do it now," The older man waved him off, as most of the people had arrived, and the meeting was beginning.

"Where's the Doc? How come he ain't here?" One of the townspeople asked.

"Stop rantin' Ike, Doc's gone on holiday, remember?"

The townspeople sat around the saloon. "What the heck is all this about Baron, calling a town meeting at 3 in the morning?"

The Baron grabbed the lapels of his suit. "Luke says the town is about to be burned and looted."

"Dang it, it's them no good chinamen," said one of the men.

"They'll rape and kill us all."

"Now, hold on a second ma'am, it ain't the Chinese who are going to be attacking but the people that Baron Von Prey Geedus hired to kill em." Luke interrupted.

A man stood incredulous. "What, but that's plumb loco? Everybody knows that it's chinamen that's savages not white men."

"Yeah chinamen is no better then dogs." The man beside him added.

As if of cue Robin and the other Kung Fu fighters burst in though the saloon door.

Everyone turned shocked and horrified to see them.

"What the hell them yella bastards doing here?"

Sub went to translate for the group, but was hung up on the word yella. "Excuse me, do you mean to say that we cowardly or are you referring to our skin color?"

The man replied "Um both I guess." Sub Ti Til translated.

"Hmm… a yellow Sub," Kon remarked.

One of the men spoke up in the back. Sub translated "Cowards are those who hire others to do their fighting for them."

"Well Clyde, it done looks like they's calling us yella."

"Do they mean yella as in chicken or are they referring to your skin coloring cause you look so pale and sick looking all the time?"

"Now hold it fellas you're not each others enemies," Luke looked over to see one of the townspeople get up and smash a chair across the back of one of the Chinese miners. In the next instant the fight raged out of control.

"Great, just great. What did you do that for?" Kon grabbed the man who had thrown the chair.

"Dammit Frank," he slurred, "you owe me money and I aim to collect."

"Frank? Oh no, this guys so drunk he started a fight with the wrong guy."

Impulse ran around trying to dissuade the combatants. "Please, please, can't we just, can't we just get along."

"The only thing that's going to be getting along is these little doggies," said one of the white men in struggle with a Chinese.

"Stop this at once." Anita commanded.

They stopped their barroom brawl immediately, frozen in spot. They all seemed puzzled.

"This situation looks hopeless." Cass moaned.

"My god," shouted one of the women, "we'll have to hide our babies or they'll eat them."

"Yeah and Claudia ain't got no one round to protect her neither since her husband died."

One of the Chinese cupped his ear, Impulse looked his way. "He must not have heard the translation. Hey I could translate for him." Impulse went over to where he was and tugged on his shirt. The man turned to him giving him a questioning look.

Bart pointed to the woman who had just spoken. "She thinks…"

Then he made a mooching puckering motion with his mouth, looking like he was kissing the air. "You're going to eat…"

He cradled his arms together and rocked them back and forth as if he were carrying a small infant. "Her baby."

The man smiled at this, and looked at the woman seductively.

Sub Ti Til approached them. He had his hands contemplatively behind his back. "There is a story of an old king, who couldn't get two of his feudal lords to stop fighting with each other; the conflict between them had gone on many years and cost many of the lords warriors to perish. Soon that section of the kingdom would be weak and ripe for invasion from its powerful neighbors. Knowing that his kingdom was lost if he did not do something, the king thought of a daring solution."

The Baron sneered. "Yeah and what was that."

"This." Sub quickly pulled out a pair of handcuffs and handcuffed himself and the Baron together.

"You heathen, you can't do this. This is a free country. Unbind me this instant."

"Yes so I've heard. Alas there is none as bind, as he who cannot flee."

"All right everybody, listen up, have I ever steered you wrong."

"No Luke, you always been strait with us. But that still don't explain why them chinamen are here."

"They're here to help protect the town, from the gang of outlaws you sent to kill them."

"Protect us! Them's chinamen, they's weak and inferior. Right Baron?"

"Absolutely. Why do you think their civilization is so backwards while ours is so advanced? The Chinese are a backwards race, just like the Indians, we have guns, they have bows and arrows."

"Actually, the Chinese invented gunpowder. They used it for fireworks, instead of firing bullets." Traya held her finger in the air.

"Now hold on a second here, I thought they wasn't smart enough to invent stuff."

"How's they gonna protect us with no guns anyhow."

Robin looked toward the sign that hung over the bar. It read, No Dogs or Chinese Allowed. He stepped toward it and launched himself into the air shattering the sign with a forceful kick. Muttered admiring whispers of "Bruce Lee!" came from many Chinese in the background.

"Now that was a deadly feat of Kung Fu." Kon laughed.

"How, in tarnation, did he do that?" asked one of the townspeople.

"It's a martial art." Sub answered.

"Marshall Art? He done got killed two years ago, going after the Garfunkel gang."

"It is the fighting art that we have honed and refined for thousands of years. We here are all trained in its methods."

"Thousands of years? I done thought them chinamen was all savages and didn't have no culture."

"How come you didn't use this Kung Fu on us during the bar-room brawl?"

"Because then you would be in no shape to fight your real enemies." Robin stepped forward.

"The union!" said an old timer from the back, a horn in his ear.

"Wars over old man." One of the patrons laughed.

"Huh who won?"

"If you really want to know, here's a penny for your thoughts," Anita slyly tossed him a small modern penny.

"Oh no," he said looking through his monocle at the penny. "What's that writing at the top there say?" He pointed toward the words, In God We Trust.

Superboy smiled and leaned over him. "Death to tyrants."

"Yahoo!" The man let out a huge rebel yell.

"See old Fester here is up for the fight."

"Why would they attack the town?"

"Why take some of the Barons gold for the bounty reward, when you could take all of the Barons gold by well, just taking it." Robin announced.

Sweat poured down the Barons face. "My gold. My money. Oh no. I er have to go to the bathroom." He struggled to walk out the door. Sub Ti Til tensed his arm bringing the Baron to a halt.

The Baron looked back to him almost pleading. "I really have to go."

Sub sighed. "Very well, I shall be back shortly." He nodded to Robin.

"All right we've got to prepare for the attack. They'll be coming in a couple of hours."

"And what if they don't come, what if you're wrong."

"Do you want to stake the life of the town on me being wrong?" Luke gave the townsperson a sharp look.

"No Luke, since you done saved the town from the villainous Cowboy X, we'd be darn near fools to not take you at your word."

Sub was standing outside a shack, his arm still handcuffed to the Baron who was inside the shack, the door half closed between the two men.

"Are you finished yet, I must say it's rather strange to put so many locks on an outhouse. Do you expect theft?"

At that moment the door to the outhouse opened, the Baron stood there with a fancy gold trimmed revolver, he pointed it at Sub. "All right you dirty yellow bastard, now you get yours."

Sub stepped into the room, the door closing behind him. Sub simply stared at the Baron, a surprisingly calm look on his face.

The Baron looked at Sub and held his finger on the trigger. Sweat poured from his forehead. He tightened his grip on the gun. He looked into Sub's eyes. His gun hand began to shake uncontrollably, slowly he lower the weapon.

"It is not so easy to kill a man. Is it?" He looked around the room of the outhouse, which was not an outhouse at all, but a storage locker. It was filled with precious goods, works of art, silverware, cash and gold. "Not as easy as buying others to do your killing for you."

The Baron slumped to his knees. He looked vacantly at the floor.

Sub turned around preparing to open the door to the shack, it however would not open.

The Baron looked up. "Oh no, you let the door close, we're trapped in here together now. The locks only open from the outside and to top it all off, I really do have to go to the bathroom now."

End of Part 2

"Kung Fu Cowboys" m

Part 3 The Attack of the Cow-Boy Bands.

"Where the hell are the Baron and Sub? They've been gone forever. Cissie go look for them would you," Cissie headed off.

Robin looked toward the people assembled in the saloon. "All right people, here is the plan for tomorrow," he noticed Bart who was contorting his body in a variety of weird positions.

"What the hell are you doing Bart?"

"Translating for you, well, kind of sign translating. You just keep on talking."

Robin sighed. "Ok here's the plan for tomorrow…"

Sub and the Baron sat on the floor.

Sub looked around at the valuables in the room. "Quite a collection."

"Yes they are the Von Prey Geedus family heirlooms. What's left of them. Once they filled our estates in the old country before…"

"You lost your lands and titles?"

The Baron gave him a hard questioning look. "Why yes, back in the old country the whole order of things is going to hell. All over Dukes, Barons, and Lords are displaced of their properties. Even so, I was a still a wealthy man, but I was not given an ounce of respect. Wherever I went, they judged me as a Baron, they assumed I was stupid, worthless, and lazy, by the fact that I inherited what I had and had not earned it. That is why I wanted to come to America, to be judged by my accomplishments and not judged by the family I was born into."

"Baron did you not judge me by what family I was born into?"

The Baron sighed, "Yes, I suppose. But the stories I'd read in the papers my brother Adolph sends me from home, they speak of you as a great evil, the yellow scourge."

"Your tale does not sound unfamiliar. My family once had a high position as well, but we fell from favor with the emperor, and I was forced to abandon everything and flee. You see we are more alike then one would have thought," said Sub, "Baron, why did you hate us so?"

"Hmm… I don't know, it was easy to hate you because…" he paused, "because you're different." At this the pair looked at each other, and became to laugh.

"I hope that the Baron and Sub haven't killed each other. Where are they? I can't believe I had to rely on Bart's sign translation to organize this thing."

The gang looked at the sun, as its light started peaking over the horizon.

"See anything?" asked Cassie.

Robin stared through a pair of binoculars. "Yup a bunch of riders on horseback are throwing a cloud of dust up in the distance."

The suns dim light shone on the town that Robin looked toward, he drew back in shock. "What the hell happened? The whole town has been painted red."

"Yeah well, Mr. Eastwood wanted me to paint his shop. But I didn't know which one was his exactly. So I figured, why take chances and put red on all of it." Impulse shrugged.

"As opposed to taking chances and putting it all on red." Cissie added.

Joe Dalton and his gang looked at the newly painted red town they were approaching. "What the hell?"

"They's treatin' us like royalty Joe," said the tallest outlaw.

"You nitwit, that's rolling out the red carpet, not rolling on the red paint."

The gunmen stormed into the town, they fired their pistols into the air, and yelled and hooted. One of the horsebacked riders shot his pistol at one of the windows. The bullet hit a kerosene lamb inside. The lamp exploded setting the place on fire. A woman inside screamed, "My baby, oh no my baby." One of the Chinese in hiding recognized the word from Impulse's translation. He jumped up unnoticed amid the confusion and sprang into the burning house, jumping and crashing through the window the bullet had been fired through. He saw the woman in the corner of the room surrounded by flames, holding her baby in her arms. She saw the Chinese man, and then screamed huddling with her child in the corner of the room. "Oh please god, save us."

The next moment she could feel herself being lifted into his arms. "Huh?" she thought. The man jumped through the window he had entered through, yet this time backwards using his back to shelter the mother and child from mother sharp glass edges.

The woman opened her eyes into the face of the Chinese man who smiled at her, glinting his eyes seductively at her. In the next instant he kissed her full on the mouth. She seemed shocked by the action. Then he put her down, and rushed off once again.

Superboy saw the building they had escaped from now rapidly being engulfed in flames. "Oh man, the whole town will go up if that isn't put out." He spied one of the horse troughs nearby, he quickly looked around to see that nobody was looking, then picked up the trough and threw it at the fire. There was a hissing sound. Steam flowed from the area where the trough had crashed through the building spilling its water over the fire containing it.

Another woman in the building next to the one that had been set ablaze ran out of her home fearfully. One of the gunmen spotted her and stepped down from his horse. "Well howdy there, pussycat." The outlaw grabbed a woman by the arm and pulled her toward him. The woman resisted fiercely kicking and scratching at him.

One of the townsfolk yelled encouragement to her from a window. "That's it Josie, wail on that outlaw."

Cassie came up behind him and shoved a bucket over his head. The woman broke away and ran into one of the nearby buildings.

Cassie hefted the man with the bucket still lodged on his head, onto his horse and slapped it's behind. The horse galloped off. "See ya later, pail rider."

Bart ran down the avenue, a group of men on horseback rode after him.

Bart turned a corner around which Empress was waiting.

The riders rode near full speed around the corner, when Empress commanded "Whoa." to the horses. They stopped dead in their tracks. Hurtling the outlaws off their horses and roughly onto the ground. Anita used her baton to quickly knock them unconscious. "Ah, there's nothing like a nice piece of hickory."

Joe Dalton sat upon his horse. "All right you yellow bellies, bring out all your gold and maybe we won't put this here town to the torch. "

"Now," Robin commanded. The Kung Fu fighters launched their boomerang attack on the outlaws, knocking the guns from their hands.

Joe and his gang began climbing off their horses to try and retrieve their weapons.

The fighters jumped out from where they were hidden and attacked the outlaws on the ground.

"It's them crazy chinamen, run for it." One of the men yelled as he forgot about his pistol on the ground and jumped back onto his horse. The Kung Fu fighters hurled themselves at the unarmed bandits. A flurry of punches, kicks, and throws followed.

The fighters quickly overwhelmed the gunmen. Soon the street was filled with the unconscious bodies of the outlaw gang.

Joe ran away, throwing a lit stick of dynamite on top of a nearby building.

Kon saw it from the corner of his eye. "That'll blow the roof off the place. I hope nobody notices me flying up to get it."

Kon was about to take off, when Luke took aim at the stick of dynamite. He fired his pistol shooting through the burning wick, extinguishing it.

"How does he do that?" Traya watched from a nearby window. "There's no way he could be that accurate with his antique revolvers."

"Maybe it was a lucky fluke?" Cissie optioned.

Joe ran around the corner trying to get away. "Got to find the gold and escape."

He was met by Anita, Bart, and an assortment of fighters from the town, and the Chinese mining camp.

"Hey little Joe, you looking for the golden bonanza?"

Joe turned around and began to run in the other direction.

Anita took out a small blowgun and put it to her lips. She fired a small dart at Joe hitting him in the back of the neck, "You want-a-dose-a this."

Joe slumped forward unconscious, landing face first in a pile of manure.

Robin looked in the stagecoach with barred windows. The members of Joe Dalton's gang were inside, their hands and feet bound to each other's with shackles. "They should be secure until they get to the prison."

Cassie looked to Luke on the back of his horse. "I'm sure the coach will be ok, with Luke riding escort."

"So long fellas." Luke shouted. The driver of the stagecoach flicked the reins and it began to head off. Luke followed it riding off into the sun.

"Oh no they're leaving," said Bart who just arrived on the scene. He had a couple of sugar cubes in his hand. "I got this sugar for the horse." Bart called out the figure riding off into the sun. "Shane, come back Shane. Shane!"

"Would you stop a cryin' Shane." Cassie said annoyed.

"He can't hear you over that song he's singing Bart." Cissie pointed out.

The Young Justice gang looked around the town. Everywhere he could see the Chinese and the townsfolk tentatively working on trying to communicate with each other.

"Where the heck is Sub, it would go a long way toward making peace between these two groups if they could understand each other on some level."

One of the Chinese men was about to step into the saloon,

The woman who had been rescued by him stepped out of the saloon. She looked to him, her face expressionless, then she rushed toward him and jumped on top of him and began kissing him passionately.

"Looks like they understand each other on some level. Level as in horizontal even." Kon remarked.

One of the townsfolk looked toward the kissing couple. "How did you say Claudia's husband died again Clem?"

"I done heard it was a heart attack, or stroke."

"Figures."

Suddenly they heard a shot ring out. "It came from over that way," Anita pointed at one of the buildings.

They headed towards the shack they had heard the shots come from. The door had multiple locks on it. Deftly, Robin removed a small pin and began to pick at the lock mechanism. Quickly he had the door open. He was astonished at what he saw; the Baron and Sub were sitting on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. "What the heck happened to you guys?"

"What are they friends now?"

"You locked in here all night?"

"Where did that gunshot come from?"

Sub pointed at the gold inlay revolver that was smoking on the floor. "Why from the gun of course." And again the two men began to laugh.

"Ah at last we are free," said the baron wiping his eyes.

"Not quite," Sub motioned to the cuffs. "I have the key for it back at our encampment."

"We should head that way, anyway" said Robin softly, "we never did get to see what the x on the map led to."

The gang rode on horseback towards the Chinese miners camp.

"Orchards? Your serious aren't you Sub."

"Why not it is the perfect climate for such, plenty of water with it being so near the mountain streams. A wide variety of fruits would grow very well here."

"Your town needs an industry, now that the silver is tapped out." Anita said.

"It would provide lots of work. There's a future in it." Cass whispered out of the side of her mouth. "Quite literally."

"Oh my dear Lord, " Cissie exclaimed.

They saw the camp in the distance, the tents had been uprooted and torn away, and the entire area where the Chinese had put up small shacks was demolished. The ground was dug up in the center on the area. A huge gaping hole was all that remained of the camp.

Superboy gazed in awe, "Holy hole. Bat- I mean Robin."

"Sick Kon."

"You don't like my jokes?"

"No, I mean you look pale and sick, is something wrong." Cass asked concerned.

"Yeah right!" Kon turned away from her.

Robin started to approach the hole. The gang followed him.

The gang looked into the hole. There, lining the walls of the hole was what looked to be pure gold, thousands upon thousands of small flakes and nuggets of gold.

Sub trembled, and then began to jump up and down in the air. He muttered something in Chinese.

"What's happening?" the Baron was bewildered, being yanked around by Sub, who he was still handcuffed to. Then he spotted the gold. "Sub, you've struck it rich."

"Ha Fiddler's Gulch is saved as well. We must get back to town and tell everyone." They each grabbed handfuls of nuggets.

Sub looked to the Baron "I always knew America would be the land of golden opportunity." Sub smiled at Traya as prepared to leave.

They jumped on a horse and rode off. "So long strangers, thanks for everything."

"Geez Kon, you look like crap." Anita raised an eyebrow.

"Well thanks a lot."

"You sure you're feeling ok?" Cassie prodded again.

"I'm fine," he then fell to his knees and vomited. "100 percent ok."

Cass bent down to him, worried and angry. "Enough with this macho crap Kon, something is seriously wrong, you're not supposed to get sick. What is it kryptonite?"

Kon sighed feeling a bit groggy, "I guess maybe it sorta feels like kryptonite, but not near as strong."

Robin narrowed his eyes "Residual radiation emanating from the pit." Robin pointed to the hole filled with gold. "Cassie get him as far away from it as possible." Robin put his fingers to his lips and whistled.

"Residual radiation? Do you mean to say that there was kryptonite in that hole?" asked Cissie.

"Remember that huge chunk of kryptonite that almost killed Kon and Superman, the last time we were transported to the 1950's. Well I'm pretty sure it was in that hole. It's about the same size."

"But that makes no sense. We were camped here before if there was kryptonite buried under the ground Kon would've gotten as sick as he did back then."

"No he wouldn't have. The kryptonite was surrounded by large amounts of gold," said Robin.

"Gold, the ultimate stable element, very closely linked to lead. It would have shielded against the radiations effects perhaps even better then lead would have." Traya said. Robin again raised an eyebrow.

"Why would they have shielded the kryptonite with gold instead of lead anyway. Think of what it would cost."

"Absolutely nothing!" The group stared puzzled at Robin's words. Robin explained, "One of the townsfolk mentioned that the rivers and streams of this area are conspicuous in that they have little to no gold deposits. My guess is that whoever buried the kryptonite, had some means at their disposal to draw the gold from the silt, and pile it together."

"But why would anybody do that?"

"I don't know why, but I have a hunch as to who." He spotted a Delorian. It was below on the desert plane, plowing along having a very rough ride, "or more precisely where."

"Ha we've got him, they'll never make it up to speed. And we've got a vehicle that can fly." Anita laughed.

The supercycle zoomed in from nowhere. The gang piled onboard. Kon reinvigorated yelled, "We've got 'em now." That's when the wheels of the Delorian twirled in and the car took off into the air. In the next instant it crackled in electricity.

Then everything shimmered around them. The entire environment turned black.

"What the hell, where-" Anita was interrupted by Robin.

"There it is!" he pointed to the Delorian in the distance.

"Oh no, Robin speed up he's going to get away," Cass yelled. The Delorian seemed to be fading in the distance, and then it disappeared.

"We lost him."

"No, I think we're following him into whatever time zone he fled into. We're just in a sort of slowdown entering the time period more slowly then the Delorian, relativity speaking that is of course."

"You mean we're traveling through time at different speeds, how in the name of Einstein did you figure that one out?"

Robin pointed to a new gauge that had popped up on the dashboard. Below the dial indicator on the dashboard, a small sign lit up reading, Time Period Entry Slowdown in Progress, "See the dial count down the number of seconds to our time reentry."

"Oh please Kon don't say it."

"Say what. We've just obtained the world's greatest perspective."

"Whatever reason the cycle slowed down must be important." Robin tried to think.

Impulse noticed the blackness they had been traveling through started to shimmer a bit. "Hey that black isn't as black, as back when it was black."

"He's right, look the blackness is beginning to change." Cissie pointed

"I'm starting to make out an image Robin. I see the Delorian and oh geez."

Impulse skittered about the cycle at super speed.

"Oh geez what?"

"We're surrounded, god it must be an army."

The image began to clear. There, in a half formed, static filled, frozen state they could make out the Delorian parked before them. All around them as far as the eye could see was a range of sophisticated robots, all of them colored in semi uniforms of yellow and black. They pointed their array of weaponry at the group. Finally, an older boy, leaned against the Delorian, he was dressed in red and green tights with a black and yellow cape.

Cassie gasped astonished. "Oh my god Robin! It's you and you've turned evil!"

"Kung Fu Cowboys" m

Stay tuned to the time travel trilogy in three parts. (As opposed to the customary five.)


End file.
